God's Heart Filters.

As I described in my first post I ‘m not living too adventurously these days so in lieu of that, I’m going to share on the topics I’m most acquainted with right now; that being all things wife, home, heart and puppies.  Today I want to start off by sharing what I’m calling “God’s heart filters”.

There are essentially hundreds of “goals” to be obtained as a wife; how to better at this or that, of course always be selfless, be more patient and so on. In preparing for and in the very early days of marriage, I read so many books that tackled every aspect of the do’s and don’ts of wife-hood and frankly there were too many different phrases and concepts for it all to stay registered in my brain. I’m more of a short and summarizing bullet point person when it comes to things that are fundamental to remember. 

Even though I am married to a practically perfect man, I am a far cry from anything perfect. So the very first thing I learned about marriage starting on day one, was that your spouse becomes a constant mirror in your face, reflecting things you never saw before in yourself. Every day I saw little glimpses in that mirror that caught my attention- responses that could have been softer and kinder and how I only wanted my way when all the newness was overwhelming.  So in retaliation to these rising ugly features, with the many free hours I had, I made it my mission to list all of the for mentioned wife goals, all the lists from all the books and crunch them down into one do-able, concise list-the shorter the better. Distraction and learning curves slowed my roll but during one particular devotional time, I was really praying about all the areas that I was so lacking in as a wife and how there were too many “do this” lists to keep straight when God just placed the answer in my heart. From every piece of advice there were resounding qualities in each one and God gave me 3 points to sum them all up:

-Be a gentle helper

-Be a gracious encourager

-Be a constant mirror of God’s love

These simple 3 phrases became my go-to when I needed to check myself and my reactions/responses to my husband. They act as my “God’s heart filter”, to process my thoughts and words through. As simple as they may be in writing, as it goes, more times than not I find myself acting in ways that are far from falling into those 3 categories. But again that’s all part of the learning and praise God for infusing my husband with unnatural amounts of patience! He is literally a rare gem of a man.

But apart from just the marriage area, what about everyday life when regular people just get all up in your day? How do we take on the world, our friends and the general grocery store public with a God’s heart filter? As I established, my brain needs simple and to the point objectives in order to be effective, so I’ve laid out 4 small questions that I pose to myself  when the humanness in me is rearing its head:

-Is this PRIDE or is this HUMILITY?

-Is this LOVE or is this SELFISHNESS?

-Is this KINDNESS?

-Am I trying to be UNDERSTOOD or am I trying to UNDERSTAND?

In conversations when I feel that humanness rise in me, I have to start filtering my words through these questions and pray for the strength to choose the right side of them, the God’s heart side. Humility, kindness, love and understanding are all key parts of God’s character and something that we need to mirror in a world that too often chooses the opposing sides. I read a quote from my favorite speaker recently that rings so true in regards to this: “Appreciate the Christ-likeness in others and give ample grace to their humanness.”

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2